February 2, 2024

February's theme is Dare to Suck...In Small, Non-Terrifying Ways. No need to metaphorically throw ourselves in the deep end and see if we can swim. More like dipping a toe in to test the water. 

How often do you hold yourself back from doing something that intrigues you out of fear that you won't be any good at it? Do you stop yourself before you even give it a shot?

Let's see if in February, we can let go of some of those fears and take some small steps that might be a bit awkward at first. To have some fun, even if it makes us a bit nervous.

Maybe there's something you love to do in private, but you don't allow yourself to do it in front of others.

That is how I am with singing. I love to sing. I sing in the car, in the shower, when I'm home by myself. I even allow myself to sing to the radio around some people, but I don't let myself really belt out any songs when I'm around others (except my cats and bearded dragon). I don't want to sound bad in front of any humans. If my pets have critiques of my voice, I don't understand what they're saying, so I may as well imagine they love my singing.

A couple of years ago I signed up for an online singing course. It was not meant to teach us technique or get us ready for an American Idol audition. It was to help us all embrace our voices, in whatever awkward, off-tune, crackly ways they came out. To see if we could give ourselves back the joy of singing that is so often stifled at a young age.

To stop comparing ourselves and our voices to others. To stop trying to copy other singers. To feel the music in our bodies and express ourselves through our voices.

It was such a good experience for me. To learn to love my voice in whatever ways it came out. Instead of trying for perfection, I got to sing imperfectly and allow others to hear me. 

I posted a couple of videos of myself singing in the course's online forum. I sang in a couple of breakout rooms to people I'd never met and will probably never see again. I even brought one woman to tears singing The Rose by Bette Middler. It's a beautiful love song that I sang to my mom when she was dying and it is deeply meaningful to me.

It was so freeing to let myself out of the box I'd been in for so long. To stop being so stuck in shyness, fear of embarrassment, and self criticism. To let my joy of singing out in front of other people.

Below is one of the videos I made originally just for myself. I was learning to love myself and my voice instead of being so critical or comparing myself to others. So I recorded myself singing some songs and made myself listen to them. Listening to them now, I can easily love my voice. It's not perfect, but it's not too bad. And it brings me joy to sing.

What is one thing you'd love to try, but won't because you're scared you won't be good enough at it? 

You're invited to share any pictures, videos, or writings of your own self expression. Just to allow yourself to share something that brings you joy with others here. I don't think you need to worry about anyone critiquing it. That's not at all what it's about. It's more about self expression than it is about perfection or even improvement. 

Can we all get a little closer to free when it comes to expressing ourselves and sharing those expressions with others?