September 7, 2023

How do you feel about goals? Do they excite you and make you want to push yourself to your greatest heights? Or do they deflate you and make you doubt your own capabilities? 

I usually fall into the latter group. Something about goal setting has always been off-putting to me. Fear I'll set the wrong ones or fail to achieve them and then just end up feeling like a big ole failure. It just seems like setting myself up for disappointment and feeling embarrassed that I can't achieve my goals. 

What if there is a better, more effective way? It's still in the realm of goal setting but it's more focused on how we want to show up in the world. What if instead of focusing on some goal we want to achieve out there, we instead focus on who we want to become on the inside? What if instead of focusing on acquiring a certain amount of money, we decide we are going to become more empowered around money, no matter how many setbacks we have? Or instead of setting out to lose 20 pounds, we determine we are going to be healthy, no matter how long it takes. 

I find myself much more inclined to work towards something when it's more intrinsically motivated. One of my "goals" for this year is to be free to be all of me. To stop so much hiding and suppressing. It doesn't meet any of those goal setting rules you read about. It's not SMART. Specific, something, something. I don't remember. Obviously, I'm not setting a lot of those kinds of goals. They're too much pressure for me for some reason. And they're too limiting. They put me off and make me want to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself that I'm not a determined go-getter. But maybe it's not that I'm a loser who can't even set goals, much less achieve them. Maybe it just doesn't work for me. It works for some people. Maybe even myself a time or two. But I'm finding that another way works better for me. And maybe for you too, if goal setting isn't your thing.

I ran into this whole who do you want to become idea in a course I took with Leisa Peterson. She teaches a lot about money and business. I've been trying to see money differently and stop struggling so much with it. To stop seeing it as a necessary evil and something I have to dirty my hands with just to survive. I have a lot of hang ups about money. Which is ironic because I've spent much of my adult life working in accounting, keeping track of other people's money down to the penny.

Anyway, I can't seem to get behind any goals that are SMART with regard to money. It's just not motivating to me. What I can get behind is changing how I am around money. Becoming someone who feels at ease with money, who is calm and confident in handling money. That is extremely motivating to me and I find I can stay focused on it more consistently. And it doesn't matter what happens on the outside. If I lose or gain money, I can bring my focus back to being calm and empowered around money. And the more I remember and practice being who I want to become, the less power money has over me. The less down on myself I get when things don't work out the way I want. The more open I am to the possibility that things might just work out in my favor. And that matters so much more to me than any numbers that show up in my bank account. 

What about you? Are you a SMART goal setter or a becoming person? Or maybe a little of both?

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